random thoughts

Yesterday Ben and I got a card from the playwright of the new play we recently did at the Village Players Theatre.

On a Side note: we played a couple, how fucken cute is that. In one scene Ben was doing crunches while I held his feet down and ate Doritos (my idea, of course) and I thought to myself, "fuck this IS us!"

Back to the card, I thought, "oh, how nice." Karen is a beautiful person. Really, it's been a long time since i've met someone with so much positive energy, a true giving and gracious spirit. And she's a lesbian. I don't think i've ever said "that person has character." I've said "that person is a character," but Karen is just top notch. If there were more people like Karen and less people like George Bush and Jerry Falwell (oh wait, he's dead; one for us! AND may you burn in hell you cocksucking motherfucking ignorant bitch), where was I, oh yeah, we would have world peace.

The last people of character I met was 4 years ago when I first met my mentor Chuck Richie and his wife Deidre. But they're not lesbians.

Back to my story: Inside the card was 2 checks, one for me one for Ben. It said, "just thought I would share the 'profits' from Katy and Judy with you." We weren't suppose to get paid. I mean, who does that? I don't. We got paid for our last gig, which in Chicago none-equity, doesn't happen to often. No, i can't say, "I'm rich bitch." but it's something. This really was just a nice surprise.


I'm a bit nervous because I have gay band practice this weekend. I've been practicing, but I still can't hit an F (top line of the staff) I wouldn't even call that a high F. it's just an F. Fucking F. For a few years now i've been saying, "i miss band," so i'm excited as well. We'll see...

I miss my family. I had a dream about my brother Erick last night and all the stupid funny things he does. I woke myself up, because I was laughing so loud in my sleep. First time ever.

Last time I was in Texas, I learned a few things about myself when I was very young. My mom told me that when I wanted a slice of cheese (you know Kraft singles), if it didn't come out perfectly I wouldn't eat it. If a small corner tore off and stayed in that square plastic wrapping I would not eat it! She said, (in Spanish, so i'll translate:) "so there I was, going through a whole pack, unwrapping these fucking slices of cheese for you." Oh, and also, with eggs sunny side up, if the little yellow bubble (aka the yolk) broke I wouldn't eat it and throw a fit. Makes sense. Also I had a stutter, but I don't want to talk about that. I remember that.


My family in early December in Texas. Notice the not snow, and not freezing temps.

This morning was probably like what? 15, but felt like -4. I actually said, "oh yeah, it feels better out here," because it wasn't windchill -30. WHAT THE FUCK!

I don't know why i'm so scattered brained today. It's like I can't focus on one thing, but that's the way my writing usually is. Unfocused and confusing. I don't believe in writing in full sentences either. Who the hell made up all these rules? Some white guys no doubt. In Spanish it's written down just as it sounds. There are even extra letters in the alphabet because of this. Chingado. FUCK

Now I want to talk about Life.

If you let it, your life, and the universe always has a way of balancing things out. As one door closes 2 more open. As one good friend leaves your life another re-enters it. This all has happened to me lately. I'm starting to believe THE SECRET. Did ya'll read that book? It's great. well okay, maybe it's a bit too artsy fartsy, but it's essence is that we attract the things that happen to us in our lives. Like attracts Like.

Say that to yourself, "like attracts like" again, "Like attracts Like" now say "I am a good person and this is a good world" keep repeating "I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THIS IS A GOOD WORLD," say "I will not eat fucked up slices of cheese" "I WILL NOT EAT FUCKED UP SLICES OF CHEESE"

ahhh, I feel at one with myself and the universe.