shut it!

O, it’s been to long. All my precious blogging/Internet time is virtually nonexistent any more. Our biggest deadline of the year is coming up next week and I have absolutely no time to fuck around at work anymore.

This month I’m also shooting 2 maybe 3 shorts and I have a gay band concert. As per my usual busyness this is a cakewalk though. Do you remember cakewalks? A musical chair game and who ever won got a cake. Or was that only in Texas?

What I really want to talk about today is not cakes, but assholes. So, I’m on the bus the other day and this girl is laughing. Hysterically laughing. The loudest laugh I have heard in my entire life. So loud. She was listening to Chris Rock’s stand up or something, “HAAA HAAA HAA HAAAA” everyone one the bus was, of course, giving her the evil eye and this fucken cunt had the audacity to say, “What the hell you all looking at? You never been happy?” A few seconds pass, “AHHH HA HA HAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA, Chris Rock is so funny, HA HA HHHHHHHA” I was on my way to get a root canal. No bitch, I'm not happy right now!!!

For fuck sake people. Can I just get on a mother fucking bus or a mother fucking train (subway) and get from point A to point B with being disturbed? I don’t want to hear you laughing or crying, or praising Jesus, telling me I’m going to hell (trust me, I have my hand basket all picked out) “Umm, yeahh, that’s a nice one, I’ll that that one.”

I don’t want to hear your music! I don't want to hear your loud breathing! Don’t fart and pretend it wasn’t you. I would have much more respect for you if you farted in a public place like you usually do and MAN UP. “Sorry guys, my bad,” is sufficient.

Lastly, for the love of all that is decent don’t ask me for money or to buy your cocksucking “I’m blind key chain” I know you’re not blind bitch. Even if I did have money, guess what bitch, YOU AINT GETTING ANY OF IT. I know that you don’t just need a little bit to get “home” or to “eat.” You’re gonnna buy booze or drugs!

Oh get this, so this one lady comes up to me and asks for money for food. (many many months ago) I say, “No, I’m not going to give you any money, but here, I want you to have my lunch.” She said, “Ahhh, nah” Ahhh, nah? AHHH NAH??!!! I don’t get it!!!!! The worst part is that the people who should read this won’t. Maybe I should print copies out and hand them out.

To end on a high note (lol, anyone else get THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD in their heads just now? No, just me, okay, anyway) I’m writing to you now on my new Mac Book. Can you tell? Is my grammar and spelling better? Are my metaphors and similes ones to rival…umm…., who ever wrote good metaphors and similes? My new laptop is really a thing of beauty. I actually got it about 4 weeks ago, but the subject had not really come up.

Metaphor: That crazy laughing bitch is a cunt.

Simile: That crazy laughing bitch was as crazy as Whitney Houston on crack

CRACK IS WACK, CRACK IS WACK